Why Can’t We Be Friends?

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  • High conflict divorces are like fires that consume all available resources – burning up time, money, mental capacity, and enjoyment of life in general. Once the divorce is over and the fire has died down, often times one or both parties seem to “miss” the excitement – and do things that (intentionally or not) cause things to flare up again. The fire never fully goes out because it keeps getting stoked / refueled. Sniping emails, nasty comments during kid exchanges, trash talking the other individual in the community knowing full well that it’ll get back to the target, etc. It’s toxic – and interferes with both parties being able to move on with their lives. Best to simply ignore / refuse to engage. Starve the fire and refuse to fuel it.

    You don’t need a “friend” like that in your life – doesn’t matter if it’s an ex or a random person on the street.

  • I completely agree that I do not need a friend like that. At some point we liked each other enough to get married, so I know that we do have the ability to get along. I wish we could talk to each other, though, without worrying about starting WW3.