Every morning at around 6:15am Henry opens my door and jumps into my bed. Most of the time I wake up when he does this, other times I don’t notice until I feel someone kicking me.
I haven’t slept in for at least 5 months and I do blame someone for that, which I will get to in a minute. This morning, Henry jumped in my bed like he always does and being that we have nowhere to go this morning, I was hoping to sleep as long as I could. He did let me sleep a little but apparently he had other plans, than me sleeping in.
He was awake and I knew this, but I kept my eyes shut because I wasn’t ready to get up, even though he was. I never have to worry about the chaos he might be creating when he gets up because he never gets up unless he makes sure that I am up, too. This I’m sure is why he was trying very hard to get me up. He reached over, grabbed my eyelid, and lifted it up. Gotta have my eyes open, right? So I rolled over, away from him. He leaned over and did it again, and then said at least 100 times “Time to get up mom.” Okay. He won. We got up, even though I would’ve slept another 2 hours at least.
Anyways, like I said I haven’t slept in for at least 5 months and I blame the person who put me in this position in the first place. Without trying to go into too much detail, I will tell you this much: Prior to June I was co-parenting with this person on a regular basis. Now, I am co-parenting with nobody except myself. I am a single parent in every sense of the word. That was not my choice.
Everyone I tell this to looks at me with a horrified look, and I can tell that they aren’t certain what to say. That’s okay, I get it. Usually it starts with some expletives that I won’t repeat on here…followed by “That’s not fair.” Yes, I know that. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair because now my expenses have doubled but my income has not. It isn’t fair because more than ever, it is hard to balance work/school/kids. It isn’t fair because while other people have tons of free time, I rarely ever get a break.It isn’t fair because now I can never make plans unless I have someone to watch Henry. It isn’t fair because I don’t get to sleep in…not ever.
Originally I was going to add a part here to say that I couldn’t be mad about any of this but in the spirit of honesty, I am going to say that yeah, I am a little mad. I miss sleeping in, dang it, and it doesn’t help that my coffee pot is broken, and I can’t afford to buy the fancy coffee pot that I would like to own. Anyways…
But my kids.They’re pretty great. And I get to see them every day now, like I used to, in the good old days when I was a stay at home mom. No more empty lonely weeks but rather, the full chaotic life that has always felt more comfortable to me.
So yes, this is unfair, but that’s okay. I still feel like I got the better end of the deal.
You know,sometimes the unlikeliest of people can do you the greatest favor you could possibly imagine.