Good news/Bad News day.
The first news of the day was that the mother of a very dear friend of mine passed away early this morning. She had been battling cancer for several years, and today, lost that battle. So all day I have been sad for my friend. Losing anyone you love is hard; losing a parent is even harder. And I know she (my friend) was close to her mom. So I can’t even imagine.
My heart is literally aching for my friend right now.
But also today was the day that one of my coworkers gave birth to a baby boy. So while I was sad for my friend and her family at the start of the day, I was also comforted by news of a new life coming into this world.
But for the good majority of the day, I was angry. Last night I got into it with a coworker, who ended up storming out because she was mad at me. She was mad because I said I couldn’t work for her tomorrow (Sunday). She apparently has 12 people coming over for tater tot hot dish. And thought this was good reason to not work. The last thing she said when she walked out was that she was putting in her two weeks notice because things weren’t “working out.”
So all day I was thinking about how selfish this coworker of mine was being; and the sense of entitlement that she seemed to have about thinking that I should work for her so she could cook tater tot hot dish for 12 people.
To add fuel to the fire, my boss called me today and said that the coworker was “refusing” to go to work tomorrow. Tater tot hot dish, you know? So because she was “refusing” to go to work, they needed someone to come in.
And of course, I was the only one who answered the phone. And I was mad about that.
What a waste of a day.
I was so fixated on being angry about this stupid work incident (for the record, I still think tater tot hotdish is a poor excuse to not go to work) that I could not focus on anything else. I was fixated on my coworkers selfishness, the fact that people expect me to be agreeable all the time, and the fact that I can’t ever seem to say no without making someone angry.
(Which is really what bothered me, I think).
Anyways, so I know that my friend is mourning the loss of her mom and in a few days, everyone will get together and share memories about her life. They’re already doing that now.
And the coworker who had the baby? She’s enjoying motherhood immensely. She knew she was having a baby boy and for weeks talked about her little guy and how excited she was to have him, how she had gotten his room set up, the name she had picked for him and its significance. It’s been fun watching listening to her talk about her baby.
Those are the things worth focusing on.
So this is how you bring yourself a little perspective: You think about your grieving friend, who just lost her mom and likely having one of the saddest days of her life, or your coworker friend who just had one of the happiest days of her life. Then you think about the memories that are now just being remembered and the new ones that are just beginning to start.
And then you realize that there are way more important things in life to focus on; rather than being angry over somebody else’s tater tot hotdish.
It;s true that there are probably more important things to focus on, but that doesn’t mean you should downplay the fact that you were pretty much manipulated not only by your co-worker, but your boss as well. I have had the same problem you do, people come to me when they need things because they think I am agreeable and selfless and NICE. Also, they know it’s hard for me to say no. But lately, as I’ve been getting older, I realize that it’s my own happiness that is most important – I care more about my own day than someone’s tater tot day, that beyotch, so therefore I think saying no to both boss and coworker is totally acceptable. Try to take a stand!
It;s true that there are probably more important things to focus on, but that doesn’t mean you should downplay the fact that you were pretty much manipulated not only by your co-worker, but your boss as well. I have had the same problem you do, people come to me when they need things because they think I am agreeable and selfless and NICE. Also, they know it’s hard for me to say no. But lately, as I’ve been getting older, I realize that it’s my own happiness that is most important – I care more about my own day than someone’s tater tot day, that beyotch, so therefore I think saying no to both boss and coworker is totally acceptable. Try to take a stand!
Thank you for saying this! I did call my boss back and left a message saying that I had already said no, and wasn’t changing my mind on it. So I didn’t go into work and it isn’t my problem what happens today. I just wish I hadn’t been mad all day about it. Totally not worth it. I shouldn’t feel bad for standing up for myself.
Thank you for saying this! I did call my boss back and left a message saying that I had already said no, and wasn’t changing my mind on it. So I didn’t go into work and it isn’t my problem what happens today. I just wish I hadn’t been mad all day about it. Totally not worth it. I shouldn’t feel bad for standing up for myself.